kenberg, on 2014-February-27, 10:47, said:
My first example of course is my biological mother, she did exactly what Bill suggests can be done./ But let us move slightly forward in time. i grew up in a fairly small house, very small by modern standards. Sometime near the end of the war there was a housing shortage and my parents rented out the top floor to Art, Marie, and their daughter Norma. Very cramped, surely illegal again by modern standards and they soon moved, I suppose to better accommodations. A few years later, Marie is back with Norma and another daughter Jeannie. No Art, and there were seriously good reasons for this. Marie got a job, she and the girls lived in the cramped upstairs quarters, and she developed a relationship with Eddie. Eddie was a good guy, treated her well, treated the girls well, sometimes included me in their family activities. She and the girls stayed for maybe three years. All this time she was seeing one guy, Eddie, a good guy who, among other differences from her ex-husband Art, didn't beat her.
Did they get married and live happily ever after? I can't tell you if they did or didn't. She and the kids moved out, i wish them well. The time they spent with us I saw very difficult circumstances, a relationship with one guy, a good guy, a working woman taking care of her kids, and no out of wedlock additions. Good luck to them, i hope it went well.
My childhood provided all the examples I need. Read whatever sources you want, but if they say that those on the edge have no opportubity to choose, what you are reading is every bit as much of a fantasy as the idea that everyone on welfare is a cheat.
The nuances of language is often misunderstood in written language - what seems implied to me was not meant as such and what I write that seems straightforward to me seems an implication of something else entirely different to you.
I don't think any of us needs to write a defense so I will not offer an explanation of what I see as a misunderstanding - the only explanation I would offer is that our personal experiences are such a small sample that to make any conclusion of a larger group based on it cannot be trusted.
Personal responsibility is something with which I concur - blame, not so much.