mycroft, on 2025-April-05, 11:13, said:
Rule 1: "There is exactly one person in the room that wants you to do well. It is easy to turn them to the other side." And trust me, even the most patient of us have had that one game where "-it, if partner's going to yell at me for doing my best, why try?" or worse yet (but I've still done it) "can't get yelled at for my bad play if I'm never declarer. So, I'm passing anything I can, and never introducing my own suits" - with the Mrs. Guggenheim excuse of "but you play the hands so well, partner" when they ask about some of the dummies I'm putting down.
Comment: emotion can kill your game. Usually here we mean bad emotions - anger at partner, anger at self, frustration at being fished by opponents (or psyched, or ...), but "the other play would have worked. Should I have seen it?", or even "man that was a great play I just pulled off!" can throw you from the 13 cards you currently have in your hand. If things frustrate you, or you're going to do anything with them besides write it in your scorecard "for later" and then forget it, work hard to moderate that.
Other comment: what I see here from your posts and experiences is primarily "stuck with (another) pickup partner who..." or "partner did this and I didn't like it" or "I have a set of rules in my head and it's wrong when I can't use them". Mistakes from your end are "how could I do this?" or "how could I have known", rather than "my decision led to this poor result". Again, I'll give "sugarcoated hrothgar"; the bridge world does not revolve around you; partners will not (unless you pay them, and even then, they'll try to show you differently when they think they can) just accept all your rules to be your partner; the opponents - especially your Friday evening opponents, and double especially because of the scoring style you like - will do things to throw your thoughts or take you off your rules, especially if they know what they are (and how to exploit them) or if they know they can rattle you for the other board (or, when you get to "contender" status, if they can rattle you for the rest of the night). You, also, have to adapt; you, also, need to find the situations you're willing to play by partner's rules (even if it's "just to see").
Pickup, especially pickup in a game like the Friday YC IMP pairs, double especially if you're not "field standard", can be an exercise in frustration and poor results.
It will be increasingly so if you insist that everything happens your way. It might even be better for you to find a similarly improving player at another club that has similar ideas about "the rules" as you do, work on a card, do some bidding practise on BBO, play some online games (even against randoms) two, three times a week, and then play every Friday at the Young Chelsea. Your -22 might become -35 for a while (assuming your average pickup partner there is better than your regular partner "improver"), but it will recover as your partnership deepens and strengthens, and partner's actions become "regular, expected and standard" rather than feeling out a new person every week.
mycroft, on 2025-April-05, 12:11, said:
Could you have made 3NT by playing for 5-2 anyway, chucking a trick in the 'obvious' 6-1 case? Would your partner get upset if you did and you were -1 to all the x30s? Surely, "rules" aside, you know that people don't all preempt with "classical" "6-10, 6-card suit to 2/top 3 honours"? Is it worth paying out 11 NV/14 V IMPs on "they follow my rules" - in the YC of all places?
At matchpoints, you have my sympathy. In flight B at the tournament in Calgary, you have my sympathy. In an IMP pairs in the strongest club field in the country, you accepted 11-1 odds that these opponents think like you, and you lost the bet. You still have my sympathy; I *play* 5-card weak 2s, and still might have fallen for it. But you deserve every one of those "lots of IMPs", as would I if I fell for it.
My guess about psychs would be that a) you're going to lose more than one partner when they make a "psych" that was "their rules, not yours", and b) they're going to be okay (if not satisfied) with your decision. In your shoes, I'd be looking for ways to keep partners, not reasons to narrow the pool of choices.
I now play in two different clubs, one of them is Young Chelsea where I play IMPs with my regular partner.
The other club has matchpoint sessions and I haven't got a regular partner there yet (that club is too far away for my regular partner at Young Chelsea), and although the NGS standard is not as high as Young Chelsea I perform so poorly there, with my score commonly in the range of around 45% only.
It is a much more difficult game with, for example, I got a 100% board just because our opponents had a misunderstanding and ended up at 4
♠= rather than 3NT+1 or 3NT+2 in the field, while in "normal bridge" that difference would be immaterial. In other words, I frequently get bottoms because I couldn't see where I could get one more overtrick where the others could get it.
In an IMP game, when the contract is 3NT, I just find a way to get 9 tricks and play for it, and I frequently miss lines of play where the 10th trick can be obtained before the 9th trick is guaranteed, as I am so afraid that I'll run out of stoppers or entries to get all my remaining tricks.
For example, when the opponents knock out the final stopper in one of my suit, I will then play all my winners immediately because I am afraid that they will run the suit, sometimes overlooking that even they run the suit the contract is still safe, when there are still other suits waiting for me to establish.
Conversely, when I couldn't find a way to get 9 tricks, I would then play in a way hoping that a certain card would come out / the opponents would fail to play a certain high card at the right time (for example, a suit is set up in the dummy but I lack an entry to it, and there is a side J but the Q hadn't come out yet) even if it would not be done if the opponents were careful enough, and it frequently ended up with a worse result then a reasonable line of play for -1.
And sometimes my pickup partner there didn't play 5-card major and that would create a very difficult time for me to interpret the bidding as it is much harder to ascertain the exact number of trumps shown in the bidding in a 4-card major system. (I have read some materials about Acol bidding which raises a major with 3-card support only even when partner's bid does not guarantee 5, and I had no idea under what circumstances I could invite / raise to game with 4 and under what circumstances I would need 5) And I was then faced by a lot of contracts which I didn't even know how to play properly because we didn't have enough trump control, and ended up hoping for a misdefence to rescue us. (I have enough of horrors where they played the last trump at the critical time to draw our last trump out, and we ran out of control of all the remaining suits, but I could never exercise the same on the opponents even when I had enough trumps to draw them out)