Most hopeless / clueless comment?

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Most hopeless / clueless comment? Post hand chit-chat

#421 kuhchung

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Posted 2015-June-19, 10:59

cherdano, on 2015-June-19, 06:00, said:

My new favourite phrase found on BBF.

I heard this one from a friend, which is the same idea but differently phrased.

"He's had 1 year of experience 10 times."

Videos of the worst bridge player ever playing bridge:
https://www.youtube....hungPlaysBridge

#422 glen

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Posted 2015-July-04, 17:18

My pickup partner held:

♠ AKQT54
♥ A3
♦ ---
♣ AKJ93

2♥-3♥-P-3NT-All Pass

Said she passed 3NT since she "trusts her partners", and that all experts play 3♥ as Michaels

'I hit my peak at seven' Taylor Swift

#423 blackshoe

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Posted 2015-July-04, 19:11

glen, on 2015-July-04, 17:18, said:

My pickup partner held:

♠ AKQT54
♥ A3
♦ ---
♣ AKJ93

2♥-3♥-P-3NT-All Pass

Said she passed 3NT since she "trusts her partners", and that all experts play 3♥ as Michaels

If 3♥ is Michaels then surely 3NT asks for the minor.

--------------------
As for tv, screw it. You aren't missing anything. -- Ken Berg
I have come to realise it is futile to expect or hope a regular club game will be run in accordance with the laws. -- Jillybean

#424 Trinidad

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Posted 2015-July-04, 21:09

Nice that she had an extra stopper in hearts.

Rik

I want my opponents to leave my table with a smile on their face and without matchpoints on their score card - in that order.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the new discoveries, is not “Eureka!” (I found it!), but “That’s funny…” – Isaac Asimov
The only reason God did not put "Thou shalt mind thine own business" in the Ten Commandments was that He thought that it was too obvious to need stating. - Kenberg

#425 diana_eva

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Posted 2015-July-05, 02:43

"I trusted you!" - I'm gonna use this from now on.

#426 Zelandakh

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Posted 2015-July-05, 04:04

diana_eva, on 2015-July-05, 02:43, said:

"I trusted you!" - I'm gonna use this from now on.

It makes quite a good apology in reverse - "Sorry partner, I should have trusted you more."

(-: Zel :-)

#427 Cyberyeti

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Posted 2015-July-05, 05:14

kuhchung, on 2015-June-19, 10:59, said:

I heard this one from a friend, which is the same idea but differently phrased.

"He's had 1 year of experience 10 times."

This basic remark was used of English spin bowler Monty panesar by Australian legend Shane Warne who said something like: Monty hasn't played 33 tests, he's played the same test 33 times.

#428 ggwhiz

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Posted 2015-July-05, 17:30

A local self styled bridge teacher had a lesson booked at his house and with -25 (centigrade) and a howling wind his students arrived.

He looked at them, looked at his watch and said "you're 10 minutes early" and shut the door in their freezing faces. He's no longer in business for even funnier reasons.

When a deaf person goes to court is it still called a hearing?
What is baby oil made of?

#429 keylime

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Posted 2015-July-13, 09:25

Larry and I were a relatively new partnership playing canapé club, and the auction went:

1D* (could have longer major, alerted) (1H) 1S (only promises 4 spades) (2C)

<lots of bids later>

.... (3D) P (3H) X by Larry, all pass.

Larry somehow derives that I have a heart canapé. Still to this day I dunno how he did it. He leads the QH at 3HX vul at Swiss...and hits my AKJxx side suit of hearts. They took exactly 2 tricks for -2000. Afterwards the conversation:

P1: Pard, 3H confused me.
P2: 1H confused me, I thought you had five.
P1: Well I had five of his diamonds (true) and 4 hearts (to the 9), what do I do?
P2: Against these two guys, pass. They know the red card. They embraced the red card. And, thankfully Dwayne's O+ and knows where the nearest hospital is.
P1 looks at me: Oh, are you a doctor? If so I have a question about this illness I've read about...

"Champions aren't made in gyms, champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill. " - M. Ali

#430 helene_t

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Posted 2015-August-19, 10:22

Not clueless at all but I wanted to post it somewhere:

Dummy puts her cards down and declarer exclaims: "Ach, mein lieber Gott."

Dummy replies: "You don't have to call me God. My name is Marijke".

The world would be such a happy place, if only everyone played Acol :) --- TramTicket

#431 glen

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Posted 2015-August-19, 19:09

Playing with a BBO expert, auction by opponents with 1NT-2♣-2♦-3NT

I led a fourth best ♥, dummy has KQT. Declarer wins K, and then on some winners discards T and Q of hearts. At the end expert discards all his hearts, keeping a winner and a loser. Discussion:

me: with my discards and declarer discarding heart QT, clear i have heart ace
expert: it was his three of diamonds that threw me and you also discarded the three of clubs - both were the lowest I saw

'I hit my peak at seven' Taylor Swift

#432 eagles123

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Posted 2016-January-18, 15:48

"experts never underlead aces at trick 1"

from an "expert" bbo opp

"definitely that's what I like to play when I'm playing standard - I want to be able to bid diamonds because bidding good suits is important in bridge" - Meckstroth's opinion on weak 2 diamond

#433 barmar

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Posted 2016-January-19, 09:46

eagles123, on 2016-January-18, 15:48, said:

"experts never underlead aces at trick 1"

While there are no unbreakable rules in bridge, this is one of the closer ones (assuming he's talking about non-trump leads in suit contracts). If you read Lawrence's book on opening leads, he takes every opportunity he can to tell the reader to find some other alternative. And when you're playing third hand, if your choice of plays depends on whether partner or declarer has the ace, assume it's declarer (unless the only way to defeat the contract is if partner made the unusual lead of underleading his ace).

Of course, one of the hallmarks of being an expert is knowing when to bend or break the rules.

#434 manudude03

- - A AKQJT9876543

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Posted 2016-January-19, 12:50

barmar, on 2016-January-19, 09:46, said:

Assuming he was replying to glen's post, the point is if dummy has KQT and declarer the ace, they would not have been discarding them.

Wayne Somerville

#435 barmar

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Posted 2016-January-20, 11:30

manudude03, on 2016-January-19, 12:50, said:

Assuming he was replying to glen's post, the point is if dummy has KQT and declarer the ace, they would not have been discarding them.

I thought he said it came from an opponent, not a forum post. If it's from a post, it's in a thread I haven't read, so I don't know the context.

In a situation like you describe, we can think of the quote from Sherlock Holmes: "when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth". Since it's presumably impossible that declarer would discard from that suit if he had the ace, partner must have underled it.

#436 gwnn

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Posted 2016-January-20, 13:58

Glen's post is the right above that of eagles123.

... and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic.
George Carlin

#437 glen

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Posted 2016-January-20, 18:22

barmar, on 2016-January-20, 11:30, said:

I don't think underleading an ace against 3NT is improbable

'I hit my peak at seven' Taylor Swift

#438 blackshoe

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Posted 2016-January-20, 18:48

glen, on 2016-January-20, 18:22, said:

I don't think underleading an ace against 3NT is improbable

It is for me. I don't usually have any. B-)

#439 barmar

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Posted 2016-January-22, 09:13

glen, on 2016-January-20, 18:22, said:

I don't think underleading an ace against 3NT is improbable

I did say "assuming he's talking about non-trump leads in suit contracts". It's very common to underlead an ace in no-trump or in the trump suit (you later expect to win a trick in a side suit so you can draw all of dummy's trumps.

#440 barmar

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Posted 2016-January-22, 09:15

gwnn, on 2016-January-20, 13:58, said:

Glen's post is the right above that of eagles123.

I never thought the context might be from 5 months ago.

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BBO Discussion Forums: Most hopeless / clueless comment? - BBO Discussion Forums

Most hopeless / clueless comment? Post hand chit-chat

#421 kuhchung

#422 glen

#423 blackshoe

#424 Trinidad

#425 diana_eva

#426 Zelandakh

#427 Cyberyeti

#428 ggwhiz

#429 keylime

#430 helene_t

#431 glen

#432 eagles123

#433 barmar

#434 manudude03

#435 barmar

#436 gwnn

#437 glen

#438 blackshoe

#439 barmar

#440 barmar

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