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How do I find a partner?

#1 User is offline   deisenbe 

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Posted 2020-May-13, 06:09

I'm about to give up on online bridge. I don't have an online partner and have no idea how to find one.

At in-person bridge events, finding partners for those without one is routine. Here, all I can do is sit at a table with people I don't know and won't ever get to know or play with again.

This is no fun. My impression of BBO is that it is novice-unfriendly.

Is there no help for me here in matching me with an appropriate partner?
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#2 User is offline   mycroft 

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Posted 2020-May-13, 11:21

You're just in a much bigger club, one without an incentive to provide a "partner for single players'.

Note that in-person, it's not at all "routine", it's very very well managed (by a well-managed club) and frequently well compensated (the big club I used to direct at paid me (among other things) to partner up people according to what I felt would be best for all, and encouraged players to be "this game's spare" (*) by offering them a free game with a partner of their own choice for every day they spared). There's a *lot* of work going into new player retention. If you don't believe me, you will after the local tournament taps you to be partnership co-ordinator for the next one.

Yes, you are accurately describing how BBO works. They have thousands of players looking to sit down and punch some cards for an hour or so, with whoever (although they're hoping for someone slightly better than them basically at their level as partner). The way you find compatible players (besides hoping that the compatibility stars are right - they are at least better than nothing) is exactly how you said, playing with people you will never see; except that if you do like them, you follow them, and maybe ask them to play again. If they're awful, make sure you don't.

There is an organization, BIL, which exists for novice players - and it is *very* friendly. Look that up.

But my real advice is the one I gave in https://www.bridgeba...ndpost&p=996246 . You at least have *a* partner from the club you like, right? Get together with them, and play against whoever shows up. Pay attention to them, and you will in time find other people you are compatible with, just like you did at the club. The good news is that instead of "remembering faces", you can write notes in their user record for next time, and can follow them on the spot "for later".

(*) who was expected to show up every week, and play with whoever didn't get paired up - usually the worst or most obnoxious player; or filled in a table with either the TD or the person the TD strongarmed into playing, 5 minutes after game time; or went home without a game. Opinions on which option was preferred can be sent to Anybody But Us.
When I go to sea, don't fear for me, Fear For The Storm -- Birdie and the Swansong (tSCoSI)
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#3 User is offline   deisenbe 

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Posted 2020-May-14, 08:30

How do I find BIL?
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#4 User is offline   AL78 

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Posted 2020-May-14, 08:42

View Postdeisenbe, on 2020-May-14, 08:30, said:

How do I find BIL?


https://www.bilbridge.com/
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#5 User is offline   mycroft 

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Posted 2020-May-14, 09:59

Thanks AL78. For reasons (including, but not limited to, "I'm not B or I any more") I didn't know that. But I knew someone would.
When I go to sea, don't fear for me, Fear For The Storm -- Birdie and the Swansong (tSCoSI)
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#6 User is offline   deisenbe 

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Posted 2020-May-21, 06:23

I'm giving up on online bridge. A I perceive it, it's unfriendly and sterile, and oriented towards more serious players than me

I went to BIL, and thanks for the recommendation. It does seem more oriented toward players at my level, but they not only say but emphasize they do not want any chatting.

My closed club, which has vague thoughts of someday reopening, directed me to the ACBL virtual clubs. I can't even understand the listings and there is no help I can find. I know I could probably type out a list of the acronyms and words I don't know (barometer?) and bother someone for explanations, but it leaves me feeling unwelcome.

I'm more interested in meeting people, as I did at my local club, than in playing tournaments. BBO is not set up for that, as you said yourself. Here on forums there is "find a partner" but it's dead.

My usual partner from my local club is unable do do something online like this. I tried teaching her, but it didn't work. She's 86 and not very computer-savvy.

I tried, but for me it's not fun to play with 3 other people none of whom I know and whom I can't talk to, in a game that moves very quickly, That's not the kind of bridge I enjoy.
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#7 User is offline   AL78 

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Posted 2020-May-22, 06:14

View Postdeisenbe, on 2020-May-21, 06:23, said:

I'm giving up on online bridge. A I perceive it, it's unfriendly and sterile, and oriented towards more serious players than me

I went to BIL, and thanks for the recommendation. It does seem more oriented toward players at my level, but they not only say but emphasize they do not want any chatting.

My closed club, which has vague thoughts of someday reopening, directed me to the ACBL virtual clubs. I can't even understand the listings and there is no help I can find. I know I could probably type out a list of the acronyms and words I don't know (barometer?) and bother someone for explanations, but it leaves me feeling unwelcome.

I'm more interested in meeting people, as I did at my local club, than in playing tournaments. BBO is not set up for that, as you said yourself. Here on forums there is "find a partner" but it's dead.

My usual partner from my local club is unable do do something online like this. I tried teaching her, but it didn't work. She's 86 and not very computer-savvy.

I tried, but for me it's not fun to play with 3 other people none of whom I know and whom I can't talk to, in a game that moves very quickly, That's not the kind of bridge I enjoy.


I know what you mean with your last sentence, it is more like playing a computer game than social interaction.

Does your local club not have a partner finding facility? I doubt you are only one in this situation. What you need is someone within your club to match singletons looking for a game, my local club has this facility.

Funny you should say you think the game moves very quickly. So far when I have been playing at my local club within BBO, I have found the opposite. Yesterday evening, when we finished a round I was playing Lemmings whilst waiting for the next round. That is one advantage of online bridge, it is easy to occupy yourself whilst you wait for everyone else to finish a round.
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#8 User is online   BabsG 

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Posted 2020-May-22, 09:13

There is a teacher offering great lessons for his club members on BBO - and they are free. The lessons are geared to beginner/intermediate players and lots of people attend each session. I am an intermediate and learn something every session.

His name is Kevin Wilson - his BBO IS is 'grypho'. The lessons are on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays at Noon New York Time and he LOVES when people chat. He also runs virtual games and provides post-mortems after each.

Maybe come try out the lessons. Who knows, you may find a partner or he may be able to suggest someone who might be interested.

Please don't give up. There are lots of us out there who are friendly and looking for people to play with on a regular basis. Beats going to the main and having opps and partners changing every board.
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#9 User is offline   rocklady 

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Posted 2020-October-15, 10:31

When I try to join a table with my partner, my computer tells me she is not logged on but I am talking to her on the phone and her computer tells her the same about me. I also cannot even add friends to my name. Please help me--I am tired of playing with robots.
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#10 User is offline   Vampyr 

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Posted 2020-October-15, 15:56

View Postrocklady, on 2020-October-15, 10:31, said:

When I try to join a table with my partner, my computer tells me she is not logged on but I am talking to her on the phone and her computer tells her the same about me. I also cannot even add friends to my name. Please help me--I am tired of playing with robots.


The problem might be that one of you is at the main site and the other in casual. They are invisible to each other.
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones -- Albert Einstein
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#11 User is offline   CeciD 

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Posted 2020-October-28, 08:46

View Postdeisenbe, on 2020-May-21, 06:23, said:

I'm giving up on online bridge. A I perceive it, it's unfriendly and sterile, and oriented towards more serious players than me

I went to BIL, and thanks for the recommendation. It does seem more oriented toward players at my level, but they not only say but emphasize they do not want any chatting.

My closed club, which has vague thoughts of someday reopening, directed me to the ACBL virtual clubs. I can't even understand the listings and there is no help I can find. I know I could probably type out a list of the acronyms and words I don't know (barometer?) and bother someone for explanations, but it leaves me feeling unwelcome.

I'm more interested in meeting people, as I did at my local club, than in playing tournaments. BBO is not set up for that, as you said yourself. Here on forums there is "find a partner" but it's dead.

My usual partner from my local club is unable do do something online like this. I tried teaching her, but it didn't work. She's 86 and not very computer-savvy.

I tried, but for me it's not fun to play with 3 other people none of whom I know and whom I can't talk to, in a game that moves very quickly, That's not the kind of bridge I enjoy.



I have finally (it took quite awhile) found a foursome who all enjoy playing together. Don't give up, it really does take time. We open a Skype call simultaneously so we can chat and it is more social. I doubt strangers would want to do that, as the way we do it involves clicking an emailed link the first time. You would want to make sure you really trusted the sender to make sure it wasn't a bad link. It seems likely that almost everyone on BBO is trying to find compatible players. Keep trying. I was discouraged for quite awhile, but now am glad I didn't give up.
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#12 User is offline   ds98 

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Posted 2020-November-15, 10:52

View Postdeisenbe, on 2020-May-13, 06:09, said:

I'm about to give up on online bridge. I don't have an online partner and have no idea how to find one.

At in-person bridge events, finding partners for those without one is routine. Here, all I can do is sit at a table with people I don't know and won't ever get to know or play with again.

This is no fun. My impression of BBO is that it is novice-unfriendly.

Is there no help for me here in matching me with an appropriate partner?


I am looking for a partner, as well. I am at novice/beginner level. Please send me a message at 'ds98'
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#13 User is offline   abriteguy 

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Posted 2020-November-16, 03:47

View Postdeisenbe, on 2020-May-13, 06:09, said:

I'm about to give up on online bridge. I don't have an online partner and have no idea how to find one.

At in-person bridge events, finding partners for those without one is routine. Here, all I can do is sit at a table with people I don't know and won't ever get to know or play with again.

This is no fun. My impression of BBO is that it is novice-unfriendly.

Is there no help for me here in matching me with an appropriate partner?


I too am looking for a partner
Email me at abriteguy@aol.com
Dr. Daniel Stein
Bellmore, NY
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#14 User is offline   JOPLEN904 

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Posted 2021-November-16, 17:12

View PostBabsG, on 2020-May-22, 09:13, said:

There is a teacher offering great lessons for his club members on BBO - and they are free. The lessons are geared to beginner/intermediate players and lots of people attend each session. I am an intermediate and learn something every session.

His name is Kevin Wilson - his BBO IS is 'grypho'. The lessons are on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays at Noon New York Time and he LOVES when people chat. He also runs virtual games and provides post-mortems after each.

Maybe come try out the lessons. Who knows, you may find a partner or he may be able to suggest someone who might be interested.

Please don't give up. There are lots of us out there who are friendly and looking for people to play with on a regular basis. Beats going to the main and having opps and partners changing every board.

Hi BabsG
Read your note about Kevin. How do I join his class? my name is 'JOPLEN904 '
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#15 User is offline   thepossum 

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Posted 2021-November-17, 18:41

When people say they are novices or beginners. What level do they play at

I don't regard myself as advanced but started playing many decades ago ad am looking for other experienced novices such as myself.

Hard finding good competent intermediate/advanced people who don't get upset at beginner level errors from time to time

Certainly not sitting in a class. Thats no fun either

I end up resorting to GiB most days. Occasionally if feeling brave I drop into a random table, play a few hands and then run away

In the old days people used to sit in pubs, tea and coffee shops, playing cards. Don't see it much anymore :(

Maybe go into your favorite establishment, get a nice table, order a nice craft beer, deal a few hands, play them yourself even, try to get noticed and see if anyone asks to join in or asks what you are doing :)

These days some awful person would rush over and spray you and your pack of cards with disinfectant or something like that

... or you would see 4 people sitting round a table together playing on BBO - funny if they were all sharing the same WiFi. There would be the sound of sirens followed by a raid from international Bridge enforcers
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#16 User is offline   Gilithin 

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Posted 2021-November-25, 21:46

View Postthepossum, on 2021-November-17, 18:41, said:

When people say they are novices or beginners. What level do they play at

Officially, a novice is someone that has played for <6 months and a beginner is someone that has played for <12 months. After a year you are automatically an intermediate and stay there until you are regularly being successful in tournaments. That means that almost everyone that plays on BBO is an intermediate, including those that self-rate as Beginner, Advanced and Expert. Basically just ignore all self-ratings and instead look at their last month of results. It is a far better indicator of level.
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